Fibromangina?? Why I have never heard of this you say. Of course you haven’t, that is because this is a brand new hot off the presses release of a disorder I just uncovered and coined last Saturday. I stumbled upon my finding due to a dear friend, and training partner, who was suffering a most severe case. One that if left un-treated could have spread, and very well led to permanency which is a punishment worse then death.
Despite its infancy in being just unveiled you may be surprised that it, let’s call it a disease, has already reached the stage of being classified as a Mandemic.
So what is fibromangina you ask? How do I catch it? How do I get rid of it? All very good questions and I will do my best. The frightening truth every man is a carrier from birth. We have found that the disease lies dormant in the male species until somewhere between the ages of 12-20, and after the ages or 60-75 it simply withers away and can become a much less threatening Oldmannisfemininis.
Out of simplicity, and until further studies are done, we have classified it as a disease affecting men ages 18-65. These are the years we have recorded, and just by happenstance, seen with our own eyes by happenstance with the most full blown cases. That is not to say they don’t occur, or begin sooner or later. Just that it is rare and usually in an earlier more tolerable stage, none the less threatening to mankind however if left untreated.
Fibromangina at this early stage of study, while different, we are classifying as a bacterial disorder due to the similarities with other bacteria in how it reacts in the human body. As we all know some bacteria is good. We actually need it to live a healthy and strong lifestyle. Without it we would literally die. Fibromangina is much the same. It is only when you let it spread that it becomes problematic. If you let it continually and excessively surface it will them spread and fester. It will quickly take over all aspects of your life without the subject suffering it ever noticing. This is what makes the disease so hard to diagnose and contain. The patient himself cannot even begin to diagnose their own disease. It is up to friends, acquaintances, and educated passer by’s to ID the disorder and alarm the full blown male to seek immediate professional help
Fibromangina, again is in all of us from birth, when in control it is a crucial and needed part of our lives. Fibromangina is the strain of bacteria in the male that is responsible for simple male grooming, washing of one’s behind when it become excessively stinky. Changing of ones clothes. Doing of ones laundry, when you have one or less clean article of clothing left. Clean being the male definition. Meaning not that the article has been worn, but that the smell or appearance of the article is not personally offensive to one’s self. It allows us to feel physical and emotional pain, not saying that we do or should listen to it, or show it, but it allows that stimulus to happen. Even all the way down to control of things like shedding one single tear when our favorite dog gets ran over by a trash truck, and immediately another dog comes over and drags it off to be eaten for lunch. Without fibromangina these simple subconscious acts would not take place in the male human.
It is when fibromangina is left unchecked. When the male, does not on a daily basis fight it down with his, well natural maleness, that things go sour. When fibromangina is let to fester we start to see ailments like the well documented metro sexuality, or more complex and disturbing disorders like maleskinnyjeanitis. A new yet growing affliction I am afraid.
In cases like that of my friend and training partner the fibromangina was a very complex. All seemed well. To keep his identity secret and spare humiliations we’ll call him Josh. Josh was always a driven strapping young man. Josh was always athletic through his younger years. A large man who enjoyed football, prono, and books about war. Training, women, and parties galore. He excelled in collegiate football. Got his degree and moved on to a job consulting and working in the training field. He was self driven and self confident. Had always trained, had a wife, and a beautiful daughter. Liked fast gas guzzling cars, pushing himself in all he did. Seeing how much he could accomplish in life, work, his personal relations, and in the gym.
What happened? How did Josh’s fibromangina go out of control, become unchecked? Like many of the cases we see. Ill spare the details, but figuratively it was one incident. Josh was figuratively kicked in the junk. Smack dab and hard in sack, by life one day. Again, like many when such a thing happens he lost sight of his fibromangina, largely due to the fact I had not yet discovered the disease. Anyway, Josh instead of fighting and getting head strong like a man and sticking to what he knew, what he loved, and what he was good at, tucked his tail and ran. Ran himself right into the grasp of fibromangina.
Josh sold his training facility. Searched and took a job as a TELEMARKETER!! ( a far cry from the self driven, strong business consultant, coach, and facility owner of past). Went and got excessively prettied up to impress his also fibromanginic higher ups. It was all a downward spiral from there. I sat by and watched Josh spiral further and further into a fibromanginic hell.
I watched the disease take over every single aspect of his life. He had no drive for his work. Who would at telemarketing, but still Josh had always been driven. I figured if he was going to be a telemarketer, he’d make telemarketing hard core! He stopped drinking stout beer, and replaced it with fruit laden colored cocktails. We’d go to eat and instead of a steak or burger Josh would order the extra small salad hold the meat and dressing, WTF!! We’d talk football, training and women, Josh would change the subject to global warming, Brad Pitt’s new shirt, or some other useless trash one would find in cosmo, or on E. He ate like a bird, talked like a 14 year old girl, and the last straw, Trained like a, well hell I wouldn’t even call it training. It was something more akin to body pump class. He’d come in, this former stud, and have every excuse in the world. “Oh I can’t that hurts, that’s way to heavy Ill get big and blocky with 95 lbs on the squat. Can’t I just do some stretches and some arm curls?
Like most advanced fibromangina cases he talked a lot about the good old days, and talked big of things to come. He would set goals of dropping some body fat, of getting strong and competing again, and all the while would do the opposite. He’d have seemingly no tangible excuse aside from, “its hard, I hur,t I don’t like to eat good food.. boo hoo.”
He was full on in the grasp of FIBROMANGINA!! I finally ID’d it last week when he came to train. Josh rolled up 50 lbs over weight from his diet of salads, latte’s, fruity cocktails and a training like someone in an infomercial. He got out of his now, ford fusion, with his fruit smoothie in one hand, his head band in the other. Sporting a light blue hoody and wearing skinny pants. He looked like 300lbs of disgusting once was male, stuffed into a sack of femininity made to hold no more then 150lbs.
Bingo a light went off. Fibromangina!! I said. While there is no known sure fast cure yet, as I had just diagnosed the disease seconds ago, I had to do something and had to do it now. We hadn’t even started training yet and he was saying how his hips hurt, and his tummy was a lil upset. I hauled back and did the one thing I knew might help. The same thing that got him into this position in the first place, thinking maybe the cause could be the cure. I kicked him square in the junk. I let him have it in every way I knew how. I told him straight, and told him to his face. I made him see what he had become, what his fibromangina had done to him.
I’m happy to say, while it’s still a day to day battle, in less than a week Josh is making huge progress. He’s has already went on that day to squat 405 x 3, and later hit an all time PR of 500 in the deadlift. He is making arrangements to get a new job, one that he is meant to do, one he can sink his teeth in and make his bitch. We even went and celebrated his refound manhood with a burger, wings, and a beer. Even his wife called to thank me.
All the ways in which and fibromangina can show itself in each individual are still largely under investigation, and we find more each day. We are finding many of once thought distinct disorders actually belong under the large umbrella of fibromangina left un unchecked. I will not, and cannot name them all at this time. There is simply too much study yet to be done. I only hope this will lead all men and their women to take warning and help me fight this disease. Help to ID it in all its forms, fight it with me, and help find cures or vaccines.
I ask you please join me and spread word of my new group that is seeking government funding to help further ID and fight this debilitating male disease “Help Stop Fibromangina”
Thank you. The cause, prevention and cure is in all of us. Let it be known. Together we can make men, men again, and send fibromangina and all it’s varied faces back to the depths at which they belong
